these things never happen in Liberty's
Some of my favourite-ever moments have been in supermarkets, and some of my very favourite Baroque in Hackney moments, too. The time I fell over in Somerfields, for example, lives on as a glorious high point (shame I wasn't writing a blog the time I slipped and cracked my skull in the Isle of Dogs Asda! I was sat there for ages with a lady holding a bag of peas to my head, asking if I was all right, and all I could say was, "um... I don't know...").
Well, not much happening lately on those kinds of fronts here in Baroque Mansions. Thank God, you might say. However, friend-of-a-friend, novelist and amusing blogger Charles Lambert brings front-line news from a Somerfields somewhere worryingly near to you.
He writes:
"My mother’s local supermarket, Somerfield, has rearranged its tills, dividing them not according to how many items you might need to pay for, but the container, trolley or basket, you’ve chosen to collect them in. The trolley tills are where you’d expect tills to be; the basket tills have been siphoned off behind a barrier laden with the sort of goods some supermarket designer must have deemed the most probable impulse buys for basket carriers. I didn’t know this until today. I was emptying my basket on the belt when the woman told me her till was for trolleys only.
- Why? I said.
- Because baskets are over there.
- But why?
- Because I can only take for trolleys.
- But I’ve got enough stuff here to fill a trolley.
What can have happened next? Click here to find out.
4 comments:
What an amazing woman you are, living life right at the edge. Incredibly dangerous places, supermarkets. For body body and soul.
Ah. We don't have "trolleys" here (or, if we do, they're streetcars named desire), so we could plead non-comprehension, like a Polish plumber. My local Whole Foods offers 3 sizes of carriers--cart, mini-cart, and basket, and 3 kinds of bags--paper, plastic, and cloth (which of course you must purchase separately). Too many choices for me. The other day, at the nearby Super [sic]Target, I stood paralyzed in front of a section of mouthwashes, unable to decide on the kind and severity of my need and which flavor would ameliorate it best annd which brand would most cost-effectively relieve the plight of those of my neighbors on whom I exhale. Toilet paper and cold cereal offer a comparable embarrassment of riches.
You would think, though, that savvy stores would try to reduce the obstacles to purchase, to make it easier, not more difficult, to spend your money with them. But no: the promulgation and enforcement of rules is an end in itself and perhaps more satisfying even than turning a profit.
My goodness. I'm blessed to be so far from a Somerfields.
:)
Francis, don't I know it!
Richard, well if you will shop in America what do you expect! I had that experience lately and let me tell you. There's a linit to how many different kinds of cake mix anyone needs.
Fool, yes you are! (Nice to see you again.) Though Alaska IS (technically) America...
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