Monday, 31 March 2008

keep the doctor away









Every year people are saying to me - okay, on the internet not as I walk down the street or whatever - "Hey. it's National Poetry Month in America, everybody's writing a poem every day for the month of April, wanna try?"

I walk on by stony-faced. I don't have time for that kind of shit.

This year, though - perhaps because I'm not feeling quite overcommitted enough, or maybe there's a little patch of blue hovering over beyind the horizon of my Ted Hughes letters piece (due mid-April), or maybe it's just a mystery - I thought, well, why not? Let's give it a go.

Yes, folks. That's a poem, a whole new poem, every day for thirty days (hath September, April June and oh yes so that's okay then). It sounds good from here, write on the tube, jot down in lunch hour, maybe a scribble in bed of an evening... but then that's how I currently do all the other things I'm doing! The things that make it so I can't write poetry! But then the whole point is that I do, occasionally, write a poem. I fit them into the cracks. Isn't that where they belong, really, I mean really? (Hm. Tell Ted Hughes that. Or Milton. But then, women have always written in the cracks.) And but thirty, in one month? Maybe by the end of it I'll be like the old guys, Keats and Shelley etc,who could knock off a perfectly-rhymed sonnet as a parlour game, or Byron who could write Don Juan while fighting a duel with the other hand...

Anyway, the good news is, it seems that the Academy of American Poets is going to give us something back. I love their little pill box. By signing up to their newsletter you can receive a poem a day, every day, to sweeten the pill of having to write one of the damn things. Not sure it will keep the doctor away in practice: I fully expect to go insane trying to keep up.

And I won't be posting them up here. Bit redundant, that. But I might tell you about them.

just dashing through

A technical issue at work has yielded this bagatelle from good old Wikipedia. I might add that it is possibly the best and most carefully punctuated Wikipedia entry I have ever read.

"Traditionally an em dash—like so—or a spaced em dash — like so — has been used for a dash in running text. The Elements of Typographic Style recommends the more concise spaced en dash – like so – and argues that the length and visual magnitude of an em dash 'belongs to the padded and corseted aesthetic of Victorian typography'."

(I'm crushed. I used to love that aesthetic; I can remember, as a wee child... but never mind. Why, why??)

"The en dash (always with spaces, in running text) and the spaced em dash both have a certain technical advantage over the unspaced em dash. In most typesetting and most word processing, the spacing between words is expected to be variable, so there can be full justification. Alone among punctuation that marks pauses or logical relations in text, the unspaced em dash disables this for the words between which it falls."

Something for all of us to think about, I think - I just wish Blogger would keep up!

Sunday, 30 March 2008

Seek, as they say, and ye shall find

Long time since I posted up any search terms via which people have reached Baroque Mansions. It is sort of boring. But this one I like:

elegantly dressed girls with pretty, bare feet

See?

being the view; and the viewed

The other day in Victoria I was standing on a traffic island waiting for the light to change. A couple of coaches went through the intersection on their way to the coach station (I could tell: they had "Victoria" emblazoned across their front ends; one of them even said, "near to London's Oxford Street!" on the back), full of tired-looking passengers. I idly watched the passengers, the girl sleeping, the guy getting his stuff together, someone looking out the window.

And with that, I suddenly became the View, not just me, with a coffee, waiting for the light. It took me straight back to the days, so long ago now, when I used to get the coach to New York City, and how the people on the streets would look to me - glamorous, native - as I watched them through the slightly tinted windows. Like characters scurrying along in a silent, air-conditioned movie.

Well, so that was fun. I don;t think many of the people on the Oxford tube were entertaining any such romance about the streets of SW1, but this kind of feeling is like a virus, isn't it: once in, never gone.

A week or two before that I had been walking through Eaton Square, in Belgravia, with its white terraces and its air of perennial calm and money. However, we all know money is not always calm. On that occasion, surprisingly, I was carrying a takeaway coffee, which had been overfilled as it happens and kept dripping on my hand. But it was too hot to drink down. There were a well-dressed couple walking too slowly, annoyingly, and a man washing a car with a hose thaty stretched across the pavement. I was late. Anyway, I got past all them and was beginning to like it there, when I noticed a policeman standing in a doorway. He wasn't going anywhere. I got closer, then closer, and he stood and then stood. As I approached, he just glanced at me and smiled, a bit sheepish. Sweet. I wonder who he was guarding. And which of us was the view, and which the viewed? The lady or the tiger?

Saturday, 29 March 2008

I do so love a crystal ball*

Oh la la! Mme Arcati has hit, or should I say delicately tapped, the nail, or is it the earring, on the head. Just what was this French state visit about again? Let's ask her.

The future - it may look orange...

While we're on the subject, of course I remember now the other post I never did last week: the one where I quote the tweed-suited one's hilarious astrological description of Julian Barnes.

"In his new book (a memoir really) Nothing to be Frightened of" - Madame writes - "Julian Barnes reveals as a literary performance, the full extent of his fear of death (or thanatophobia) - why, the poor poppet wakes up at night screaming and chewing his pillow at the prospect of eternal extinction. No more book awards! No more cool reviews from John Walsh in the Indy! Oh woe, cruel world! Fashionably, he is a devout member of the Literary Godless Religion (Christopher Hitchens is its current Archbish; M Amis one of the vicars) - "I don’t believe in God, but I miss him," Barnes writes, largely because the divinely-inspired painted prettier pictures on church windows, so far as I can tell. He tells us he's a melancholic person.

Mr Barnes will be appalled to learn that he is very true to his horoscope..."

Sorry. You know I can't resist this kind of stuff.

And while we're linking: even a quick look at Charles Lambert's blog is enough to show me just how incomplete my reading list of last night was...


* as the actress - oh, never mind.

Friday, 28 March 2008

undone

Posts:
the one on Tim Lott's article last week about the Orange Prize. It was gonna be a good one, too. I had lots to say, much of it both trenchant and funny at the same time... I can really see what he was saying, too. But in an email I wrote: "lots of worth in here but he shoots his own foot a few times - the subject is just too difficult to be dealt with in terms of numbers, & "what is men's writing?" ( tho wd obv be VERY silly prize) has shockingly many easy, top-of-head answers! Many of which are never called men's writing!! (eg Roth, etc) So. But in the end of course anything which aspires to the condition of "art" rather than just "fiction" must transcend these limitations. I do think a lot of women's writing fails to do that & that must ultimately be Lott's point. But then, is like asking black writers to write as if they were no colour. Can it be done? Should it?"

the one called Being the view; and the viewed

something about Carla-Bruni-Sarkozy-how-sarcastic-can-we-get-etc and her little black patent leather shoes, the remarks in the Indy - "as if she'd taken holy orders" - and the Guardian - "A French schoolgirl crpossed with Jackie Kennedy" - and the creepy way she started reminding me of Princess Diana, in the cynical & outrageous hypocrisy of her dress. Who does she think she's kidding? And yet they all bought it! Her shoes were on the front page!

the cookbook one

the one about how Fresh & Wild in Stoke Newington Church St is selling small white loaves from the Spence - for you non-locals, a bakery about two blocks up the road - for a pound more than the Spence sells them for! When I asked a rather gormless skinny guy in there why this was, he lamely wavered something about transporting it, & then something about the price of flour going up - even though all their other loaves were the same price as ever. When I mentioned all this to the Spence, they said: "We take them the bread every day! They don't have to do anything!" Ladies and gentlemen, do NOT buy Spence bread from Stale & Tame, please! (Alas, I fear the people who are buying it are the very people who are not reading my blog. "Like a Bridge Over Troubled Waters...", methinks.)

fix up link lists in sidebar, they are a total mess and out of date, and both my linkees and you, readers, deserve better.


Books:
Little Monsters, by Charles Lambert

The Anomolies, by Joey Goebel (yes), cover designed by up-&-coming graphic design genius Greg Stevenson

Torture the Artist, now out in proof, from the same author and designer, from Old Street Publishing

Collected Critical Writings of Geoffrey Hill (I may be some time)

Ted Hughes' Selected Letters

In the Sixties, Barry Miles (warning: naked Ginsberg - bloody hell, I didn't know my stomach was so strong!)

The Day of the Locust, Nathanael West

Short Stories of Ambrose Bierce (Civil War ones esp.)

Somebody Else: Arthur Rimbaud in Africa, by Charles Nichols

Them and Us: the American Invasion of British High Society, by Charles Jennings (I need to actually get a copy of this first, but it has my name written all over it, wherever it is)

City of Nets: A Portrait of Hollywood in the Forties, by Otto Friedrich

Los Alamos Mon Amour, by Simon Barraclough (I will however buy this in 13 days at the launch)

Gogol in Rome, Katia Kapovich: I have to get this book. To find out why, see the summer issue of Poetry London


Household tasks & chores:
Mount Everest of laundry is now Himalayas of laundry.

have bought DVD/VCR player (several of you will be pleased to hear) but am too shagged to set it up

dishes

ring cleaner and beg her to come back

er - light bulbs?

buy new lightshade for living room. Find nice lightshade for living room.

where can I get a lamp rewired?

in case cleaner comes back, buy Cif and bleach and spray-for-polish

change the beds.

do the ironing; or at least get the new iron out of the box and put it away, so as to pretend that there was some point in spending that £17.98 and arguing the toss with the asinine kids in Curry's - and throw away the one I bought in Morrison's for £4.49, which no, of course it doesn't work, hello-o.


Writing things:
one review, for Poetry London, due now

send some poems out

edit about three new poems

no, edit about ten new poems

maybe edit first and then send them out!

another review, for The Dark Horse

my secret essay I'm (not) working on

2,000 words (600 down) on Anthony Hecht for the Contemporary Poetry Review

furthermore, I am slowly resolving to take part in the annual Fest that is NaPoWriMo, aka National Poetry Writing Month in America. April: as you can see, truly the cruellest month, bleeding/rhyme words out of dead sounds... But somehow it is increasingly seeming like a potentially good idea. You have to write a poem - no matter how crap - every day during April, which is National Poetry month in the USA. I will not be pinning them up on the walls of Baroque Mansions!


Other:
birthday present for Cat Lady, birthday day before yesterday

call Sis and beg her to go to Mama B's house to look for that picture of Grandfather for the cover of my book!

send Infamous back to LoveFilm

pay British Gas

relax; have weekend! The herbalist has given me herbs to soothe my nerves and improve my energy balance, whilst settling my stomach, but he also tells me he thinks I should try and operate for a bit at 85%, instead of 105%. "Don't over-commit yourself."


And so to bed. Mlle B is out somewhere-or-other with her friends, all being teenagers, and I'm too knackered to watch a DVD in the living room anyway. To bed: I can overheat my lap again with the laptop. And fall asleep over it with the light on. Again. I like to fancy that it gives the Mlle a sense of purpose, coming in and turning it off when she gets in.

everybody a critic!























Thanks to the indefatigable Ben Locker, armed at the ready with pushchair and camera, for this sweet little piece of Stoke Newington.

Thursday, 27 March 2008

no Lisa Simpson - or is she?












Wow, as you might say. You guys know I don't really follow American politics until I'm put in a position where I have to - but I've just read a long article in the Washington Post (via the Huffington Post) all about the blog (or "blogette") kept by the Republican candidate John McCain's daughter, Meghan. Now I am practicing stroking my own hair, but it isn't as smooth as Meghan's, so I fear it may not do me any good. And anyway, "blogette"? Yet somehow...

I mean, even her blog has staff! Baroque Mansions only sits five comfortably in one room, so that's a non-starter for this place, you'll be either pleased or dismayed to know.

Anyway, here's a taster:

"Some time back, McCain posted to her Web site a detailed explanation of her campaign trail makeup regimen, including her approach to maximizing lash 'density' by blending two brands of mascara, and her technique for priming lips with concealer before applying Benefit brand lip gloss.

'I just decided to do it 'cause a lot of girls were asking,' she says. 'And then I was dutifully punished on the Internet for writing about makeup.' She starts to giggle. 'But I got a lot of good response and Benefit actually sent me an e-mail being like, "We love that you love Benefit!" Yeah. So, I was like, "Yay"'. "

She's 23. She studied art history at Columbia.

And get this:

"The Web site is not affiliated with or funded by the McCain campaign, according to Meghan and a campaign spokeswoman. McCain says she didn't want to have to cede 'creative control' to her dad's staff.

So how does she pay for it?

'We don't talk about it,' McCain says firmly. ' 'Cause, like, once I answer one question it leads to 50 others.'

But, because she is the candidate's daughter, her press requests are routed through the campaign and, at one point, Brooke Buchanan, the McCain campaign's traveling spokeswoman, comes into the room to keep an eye on the interview.

'Hey, girls,' Buchanan says. She perches on the arm of Bae's chair.

'Did you change your hair?' one of the blogettes asks her."

See? She really is just a normal kinda girl. Srsly. And, blogged up, her family really do start to sound like the Simpsons:

"There's sprightly, 96-year-old Roberta McCain, who not too long ago told C-SPAN that the Republican base was just going to have to hold "their nose" and vote for her son. There's the senator, 71, who famously spent 5 1/2 years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam. There's Cindy, 53, John McCain's second wife, who was addicted to prescription painkillers for several years when Meghan was a child, and who in 2004 suffered a stroke. There's Meghan's brother, Jack, in the Naval Academy, and her other brother, Jimmy, a Marine who has served in Iraq. There's her little sister, Bridget, whom the McCains adopted from Bangladesh as an infant, and who was, in Dad's 2000 presidential race, the object of a smear campaign insinuating that she was the product of an illicit union."

And then there's little Lisa, the little PR genius.

The Post again:

"McCain is a political outsider with an insider's access, and on her Web site she notices the things political junkies never would, like the 'really cute' shoes Chelsea Clinton wore when they met. She posts photographs of her own shoes and of the shoes she encounters on the trail, including those belonging to such fashion luminaries as Dick Armey and Henry Kissinger.

'Because I love shoes, and who doesn't want to know what kind of shoes Dr. Kissinger wears?' she writes on her blog.

We didn't know we wanted to know, but now that she mentions it, we kinda do."

Hmm. You couldn't make it up.* She may never even need to fall back on that education, ya think? (Make sure you click on the pic.)

* But if you did, don't forget that foundation!

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

what a difference a word makes











The banana split boat hasn't sailed, has it? Some reader of mine, somewhere, must have missed the storm in a sundae dish over the anonymous poem found in the House of Commons - or somewhere - nobody has actually said where it was found, or how - was it lying upon the stair? Anyway, somehow everybody got to know of it, and very funny it is too:

"As I was going down the stair, I met a man who wasn't Blair.
He wasn't Blair again today. Oh how I wish he'd go away!"

And no one knows who wrote it! It's a complete mystery - a government scandal! A couple of ministers have completely denied that it's anything to do with them, but then, they would say that, wouldn't they.

Of course we're all jolly glad whenever anyone isn't Blair, and we hope it stays that way, but you have to admit that it's a fine thing for Parliamentarians to be taking to their pens like this. It may be only doggerel but revolutions have been started with less. And it pleases me, partly because the original upon which it is based ("As I was going up the stair/ I met a man who wasn't there./ He wasn't there again today...") was told me many many times by my dear Papa, le duc de Baroque, back when he was about ten times bigger than me.

However, the real genius of the piece comes in when my brand-new favourite-ever politician, Austin Mitchell MP (Great Grimsby - fancy a weekend away, anyone?) posted this delicious, and far superior, bagatelle on his blog: the cherry on top. Poetry truly lives in the corridors of power! Austin's whole site is well worth a read. Take these snippets from his "House Diary":

"These are the times that try men`s socialism. Polls disastrous. Morale low. New chums wondering if ritual suicide might be helpful. Blairites in the ascendant with crazed proposals to force the disabled back to work (assuming the Poles leave any jobs) or proclaiming the virtues of wealth, Mandy announcing that Gordon has forgiven him, and Tony sucking up more jobs in his flibbertigibbet progress to the throne of Charlemagne II.* ...Oldie of the Year lunch. Hockney harangues me for voting for the smoking ban, announcing that it will be the death of reflection."

Even his home page is fun. And did you see the picture above? He has something I want.**


* Flibbertigibbet is one of my all-time favourite words.
** & I don't mean a house - although, yes please... (edited in: on reflection I think I mean a nice big empty room, with a polished floor. You could have a vast abode and not have that! But mainly it's the Friendly's sign, of course.)

elegantly dressed all the word's a stage, and all the men and women merely players




















Some people grasp this truth more thoroughly than others, and I believe they are the elegant ones. Take Sarah Bernhardt. I love this photograph of her: unlike all the simpering Beaux-Arts in-character shots, where she really is on the stage (or pretending to be), this is her as herself, a persona she created and made real more than any unselfconscious, unregarding, "natural" self-expression.

Here's some indication of Bernhardt's greatness in this respect:

"In 1915, during an unfortunate performance in the title role of Victorien Sardou's drama La Tosca, Sarah Bernhardt injured her right leg so badly that it had to be amputated. While she was recovering, the manager of the Pan-American Exposition (in San Francisco) asked for permission to exhibit her leg, offering $100,000 for the privilege. Bernhardt cabled this reply: 'Which leg?'

She hummed the Marseillaise as she was wheeled down the hospital corridor and afterwards used a wheelchair, disdaining prostheses and crutches - bearers instead carried the divine Sarah around in a specially designed litter chair in Louis XV style with gilt carving, like a Byzantine princess. Immediately upon leaving the hospital, she filmed Jeanne Doré (1915), again directed by Louis Mercanton. She was shot either standing or sitting; this in fact pinned her down and forced her to use facial expression rather than movement and helped her performance. The five-reel film, distributed by Universal in the U.S., got rave reviews and reflected well upon both its game star and the industry as an art form. For ovations she stood on one leg, held on to a piece of furniture, and gestured with one arm.

Shortly after the amputation, she visited the WWI front lines near Verdun to perform for French troops in mess tents, hospital wards, open market places and ramshackle barns. Propped in a shabby armchair, she recited a patriotic piece to war-dazed men fresh from the trenches. When she ended with a rousing 'Aux armes!' they rose cheering and sobbing. '

The way she ignored her handicap was beautiful', wrote an actress who accompanied her. 'A victory of the spirit over the failing flesh'."

She also knew how to make the best of curly hair.

Sarah Bernhardt was "the divine" until she died on March 26, 1923 - eighty-five years ago today - having never retired from the stage.

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

infamous indolence

To say it's been a slow weekend in Baroque Mansions would be to do a disservice to the Ice Age.

There have been sleeping, eating, and the cooking necessary to have the things to eat; there have been lolling, slumping and more eating; and there has been more sleeping, followed by some eating and lolling. Ms B never left the house at all between 4pm on Thursday and about 4pm on Saturday, except for a doomed, misguided attempt to go for a walk which left her (well - the car - not hers, of course, but even so not even a very competent attempt at a walk) pelted and battered by inch-wide raindrops and then a hailstorm worthy of Good Friday itself - oh, wait. It was Good Friday.

Saturday brings us, recovered from the pelting, to the thrilling heights of Morrisons, where I discovered that 6pm the day before Easter Sunday is not the time to find a nice leg of lamb.Thus my lamb in white wine, lemon and egg sauce became a delightfully plucky and inventive lamb-&-lemon meatballs in white wine, lemon and egg sauce. There were also rice, an entire Savoy cabbage, some very beautiful grilled courgettes, and a bread & butter pudding made with brioche rolls (2 extra free), cream and 100g of dark chocolate.

Later that day, when the kids and auntie had gone, I ate the last meatball, the leftover vegetables and the rest of the pudding standing up at the counter, and drank the rest of the cooking wine, a cheap Orvieto.

DVD: Infamous. Very interesting but I'm not really in the mood to write a movie critique... Toby Jones deliciously over-the-top as Truman Capote, I will say - but as for what's her name from Truly Madly Deeply playing Diana Vreeland? Just NO.

Yesterday woke up remembering that I had three egg whites left over, plus the rest of the double cream, and there was a girl in the house whom I knew it would be very easy to thrill with a sudden meringue... it's so hard nowadays with one's own offspring. Mlle B, who was "too full" to eat even a morsel of the bread-&-butter pudding (Duh! Like that stopped anyone else), simply doesn't like meringue. For this reason alone it is always great fun to make it when this particular friend is there, so we can offer Mlle B some and, when she refuses, shake our heads pityingly in unison.

Then several hours of saying I was going to write my stuff, and not, followed by almost being late to the cinema because I'd actually forgotten how to leave the house: it was a delightful, if suitably leisurely, French gangster film circa about 1960 give or take, called Le Doulos, starring Jean-Paul Belmondo, a lot of menacing shadows and an all-but-forgotten family of performing overcoats. Then an asparagus risotto.

Work tomorrow. The meringue is finished, there's no meat in the house, I never had to resort to white sliced, the place is Armageddon of laundry, and as I write this - at 11.26 - I have not yet been outside today, either. In the few hours left to me I have all the writing I was going to do over the preceding five days to do, plus the laundry.

PS: Does anyone want a signed, limited edition of The Apes of God by Wyndham Lewis, fine, no d/w? Numbered 176 of 1,000. It's very large... offers accepted.

Guy Davenport and Harold J Smith: the link
























The great Modernist critic and writer Guy Davenport was also an illustrator and even a cartoonist. I knew he could draw pictures, because he illustrated several of his own books of short stories; his line drawings of Vladimir Tatlin and Stalin are memorable. But what I didn't know was that the manifestation of his skills was so much more multifarious than that. Above, his 1958 book jacket for a Western set in the Civil War.

It's lovely, isn't it? Even aside from the brave, manly-looking soldier, I mean. And his wonderful buttons. There's a whole description and explanation of it (except for the buttons) here, in the middle of a highly interesting essay on Davenport's careers - both literary and visual.

This picture reminds me, in its solitary heroism and impeccable fifties look, of an item I read last week on Amy King's blog. Amy informs us - with a link to her source - that Jay Silverheels, the American Indian actor who played Tonto, also wrote poetry! Of course he did. It was based on his childhood on the reservation, and it is apparently lost.

As disappointing as this is, it can't be as disappointing as the fact that Jay Silverheels' real name was Harold J Smith.

Heigh-ho, Silver!

Monday, 24 March 2008

‘the neurosis of innovation’










One of my favourite blogs, The Fate of the Artist: it's from an old post (& v interesting it was) but do go to the new ones too.

"And that is the problem with art today" (he writes): "the artist believes he must find a style (or a schtick really) and defend it with his life. And if all the schticks are already taken, he must pull one out of his ass." (I love that.) "He must find one," he continues, "invent one, fabricate one, for he can be nothing if he cannot be original."

The quoted discussion, before anyone objects to the picture above, is in support of Lichtenstein's use of a generic style to produce art. Regular readers may be aware of my great love for the pixelated pop artist...

Sunday, 23 March 2008

an Easter postcard from Texas

An email from my funniest auntie: I think it's still only 11.30am in Texas, so this is hot off the press! I feel sure she won't mind, especially after all she's been through.

"Whew!" (she writes.) "While it's fresh, I must tell you about my church experience with friends today. I love them dearly, BUT... First off there was a Starbucks in the church lobby. What the heck, I had a latte.

In the sanctuary there was nary a bloom in sight. No flowers. I guess that's because they didn't want to trip over them on the way to the guitars, keyboards, drums - you get the picture.

My pet peeve is those ---- screens on the wall instead of hymn books. And didn't recognize but one song (they're not hymns).

The pastor's a real nice guy. But please - he was wearing an argyle sweater, not even a tie. Never again! I came right home and poured a mimosa!"

the plight of the bunny in today's world

the chicken, the egg, Idun's apple, Adam's apple and a few snowflakes












Well, here we are, in the middle of the story. I can never quite break away, in Holy Week, from the idea of being in the throes of a tale unfolding, of being in some kind of real-time replay. And in fact we are: it's spring, and the old exhausted winter must be put to death so new life can be born - whether everlasting or merely until around October is up to you, really. (Of course, I say this now: and it's snowing outside, which for London is just ludicrous of course. Though I'm sure I can remember at least one other Easter when it snowed here.)

One of the oldest and most human of all human attributes is our need for stories. They do literally explain us to ourselves; they also explain the world. Little Miss B was raised, for example, on Greek myths, which were explained to her as the attempts of ancient people to explain the attributes of the world, which is one reason why the myths and legends of different civilisations can be so similar: they are - in the sense that applies only (for all we know) to our own world - universal. This is why Joseph Campbell's Hero With a Thousand Faces was such a seminal book, after the adolescent shock-to-the-system that is The White Goddess: long before Christopher Booker's back-to-basics Seven Basic Plots, they showed us something about how we work. Imagine my joy unbounded when, aged something-or-other, I discovered that the wife of Bragi (the Norse god of poetry) was called Idun, and she had a precious store of apples which helped the gods to stay young. At some point she is lured by Loki out of Asgard, and without her apples the gods age visibly; great means have to be resorted to in order to get her back and restore their eternal youth.

Campbell and Booker are both Jungian in their philosophy, though Booker also bolstered himself with an epigraph from Johnson, just to be on the safe side. And while we don't want to turn "The world's plots into a narrative sludge," as Adam Mars-Jones pithily said in his review of Booker,* it is a good idea to get over this idea that we're somehow more clever than the people who went before us, or that our world is somehow full of things that weren't in theirs, and sometimes to respect something precisely because it's a story, not in spite of it. We're concerned here wih plot, but also with scenario, character and symbol.

Sorry, I'm tying myself up in knots here. I know there are problems with Jung. Jaysus. There are problems with everything. In a minute you'll see how that's the only way we can possibly understand that everything is okay. And no, I don't mean that the Holocaust's okay! We are allowed to have some things, the things that are okay, be okay - I'm trying to say that the point of the story - any story - is to figure out how they are, and which ones they are, and what went wrong when it did go wrong.

Basically, I think what I'm getting at is that although everything is itself - gloriously, beautifully so, as Henry James might have said - everything also represents something else. This is the case if someone who unaccountably disturbs you suddenly reminds you of the bully at school, or if the colour of the wallpaper in a hotel room makes you feel weirdly sad - or happy - and maybe it's the same as in your favourite room in the house where you grew up; or, you know, the stars twinkle out at sea... People talk about symbol being pretentious (eg in discussions of poetry) but all it is is something reminding you of something else, and harnessing or assuming some of the properties of power of that other thing. Hence, in dreams, if you dream about money it represents your "values," aka "what you treasure." Hence eggs mean new life. Also, though the ancients didn't really know it yet, aren't they universe-shaped? Hence also eg female=vessel, male=the thing that goes in the vessel. Smut!

Anyway, so here we are in the middle of a story. When I started writing this last night we were in a very sad bit of the story. I always feel, with Easter, that one should help to act out this story, but maybe only because it's traditional. Then again, why not be traditional? Acting out a story, following it to the point of empathetically becoming part of it, is a good, cathartic thing for us humans. It's why we like movies better on the big screen and why we think 3D is an improvement. (Hm. Maybe I'm the exception.) It's why, as Booker says in the intro to his Seven Basic Plots book, "we take it for granted that the great story-tellers, such as Homer and Shakespeare, should be among the most famous people who ever lived."

On Thursday, after a week of increasing tension and uncertainty, though with great reviews in the popular local press, Jesus sat down to a meal with his friends and followers. The authorities were after him; they didn't like his brand of insurgence and they were frankly annoyed that it was such a hit with the very people they were trying to keep under control. Okay? Then we have the betrayal by the best friend. In the Gnostic Gospel of Judas Jesus even reveals to us, in a touch almost worthy of (though, frankly, subtler than) Italo Calvino, that we are in a story: he says to Judas words along the lines of, "Yes, off you go; you have to betray me, because that's just what you do, and it's the story."

On Friday Jesus is duly taken away by the authorities, driven through the streets and then executed in a particularly nasty, humiliating way - humiliating, on top of everything else, because it is usually reserved for the lowest sorts of thieves and gangsters, horrible people - though, in this story, even they are not allowed to be without their redeeming qualities. I think we don't need to be reminded of the power this part of the story has for us poor humans, who have suffered thousands of years of political and personal oppression, who have been misunderstood and misinterpreted, who have been silenced and misrepresented, who have so often known we were not what we were made through circumstances to seem. Part of the power that this story has is that it is so universally applicable, to large-scale political events - due to the civic nature of Jesus' protest - and also to small, personal disasters. The fact is that this story of Jesus has provided comfort and example to many.

In fact, at the time when he was executed, at 3pm, there was a fearful storm (or was it an eclipse?) and the whole sky went dark. The people who had come to sit vigil with him - or to watch for fun, as there were no movies in those days - were terrified. So although he is stripped of his public pride and killed, there is a hint even here of the power he possesses. He is, of course, Everyman, literally, in that he is God (and the son of God) and, according to this model, God is all of us. So he, God, and all of us, dies and is put in a tomb by his friends.

Of course he rises again! On the third day. That's early today, this morning. The friends went to the tomb to look after his poor body, and discovered the stone in the doorway rolled away, and no body inside. In some versions he speaks to them, says everything is all right, and he's going to work. In some they are left to infer all this. In yet more, the naughty ones, he goes away to Egypt and lives a life of sybaritic pleasure with Mary Magdalene or similar - that's the Alec Guinness version. But whichever it is, today we're all wearing nice clothes and eating hot cross buns and chocolate, and singing songs, because we're acting out the happiness of the friends when they found that their dead friend was alive again, which also meant that they were alive again (because when someone you love dies you do feel as if you too are dead, don't you), and of course it was spring, and Persephone was freed from the Underworld, so everything could grow again and they would all eat in the summer, and in fact everything is in its place and all's right with the world.

Unless you had the story of everything going wrong, how could you possibly know it was all right?













* By the way, in case any of you read the review, I'd just like to say that I think his view of the role of the anima and animus is fundamentally flawed, by being partial. The mistake he seems to be making is to view the thing literally - a very common failing de nos jours - and looking from the dark bottom of the well we know as the politics of gender and sexuality. It just ain't so that because the hero is a male character, seeking to incorporate his anima in the person of the heroine, the reader or viewer must be literally male! Just as she is the anima of him, he is the animus of her. The story is admonishing all of us in the same way.

I'm certainly not above a feminist rendering of a story, and I know there are problems with Jung, but I think on this one we can just let it rest. The ancient stories allow women more power than the ancient world did, and often more than our newer stories do.

Saturday, 22 March 2008

modernism: what is it?

I got involved in a long conversation this morning about England's perceived failure to produce convincing Modernist works - a perception I tried to counter, first with the statement that, although Pound and Eliot were American, England was the place where they were able to do their work. But the argument persisted - not a new argument either, as it happens - that England is prone to "mimsiness" and tininess, and that its Modernism - lacking conviction in its own identity - attempts to blend with a pastoral sensibility that it simply can't fit. Further countering this with reflections on Ben Nicholson, Stanley Spencer (though I forgot his name, of course; this is the kind of thing that can happen when arguing a point over bourgeois coffee and sausages) et al, it seemed I had hit a wall, a wall of formalism. That is, a tendency of English modernist artists to become preoccupied with form over intellectual substance, which of course is in keeping with a kind of pastoral anti-intellectualism for which England remains so well-known even now.

I know: this all sounds very silly. (nb. Do, please, scroll all the way down that link... it's all a bit post-modernist & intertextual, though I can't promise any lines from "Oh My Darling Clementine".)

But the more we went into the topic, the more European Modernism looked like an extreme position people were forced into by circumstances of world war, genocide, revolution - a degree of hardness only arrived at through extremes of heat and pressure - a dependence on intellect, perhaps, when all else has failed - or desperation for a plan in the face of catastrophe - or possibly simply the need to look forward when the past has been destroyed, which the mind will compensate for by rejecting the past.

The discussion ranged to America, which I said had benefited culturally, along with England, through its ability to take in refugees from Europe, who then continued their activities here, enriching the native soil incalculably. I posited that if Europe's intellectual and artistic life had contracted during the War, those of England and America had correspondingly expanded, and that this was arguably the best thing that could have happened to America's cultural life.

In the end the position we were arrived at was that it was largely the modernists, pace Eliot and Pound, who were the right-wingers, and that one reason Modernism as a movement could never really take off here was the inbuilt English dread of any kind of orthodoxy of thought: the contrariness of a nation of eccentrics whose motto is "A man's home is his castle," and who feel inclined to laugh at anything that takes itself too seriously. Which basically, both the Modernists and the fascists did.

(Cue image of a load of toffs in the thirties, laughing uproariously at Oswald Mosley's funny little ways and lack of a proper dinner jacket, or somesuch. And I know: in Cable Street they weren't laughing. But ultimately, did this laughter help to prevent I Was the Son of a Cable Street?)

Of course, this was morning-coffee talk and exploratory to boot: so I don't really want anyone telling me I'm anti-Modernist or whatever: I've read my Hugh Kenner and Guy Davenport with the rest. Remarking on how strange the turns this conversation had taken, we were content to leave it there in favour of more coffee and the day itself. But imagine my interest later this evening on reading a comment by the "New Formalist" poet Mark Jarman, in reply to a post about the use of the term "New Formalism" on Alfred Corn's weblog, that "the dirty secret of Modernism... was and is fascism."

Now, it is clear to me that this post of Alfred's raised some old Poetry War hackles and that - given the commenters and the disjointed nature of some of the rejoinders - there are possibly some personality issues at play here. However, as surprised as I was by the turn of my morning ruminations I was more surprised to see them said outright, like that, right there.

Is there something everyone else has figured out ages ago, except Ms Baroque? Or is this whole train of thought completely spurious? And is it really true that, as arrived at over the cafétiere this morning, we should be celebrating this particular pigheaded local obtuseness that insists on taking people down a peg or two instead of humouring all their intellectual conceits?

Thursday, 20 March 2008

"an unresolved mass of imagery, which sort of in the end... floats over people"













That's what you get if you say, when taking the picture, "let us for the umpteenth time capture the pathos of a starving child" - and not, "why is this child starving?" "Who's denying the food? What's the background, what's the history?"

So says the Magnum photographer Philip Jones Griffiths, who died yesterday aged 72. A Welshman who left Wales at 16, but said that growing up there influenced everything he ever did, he spent a lifetime photographing conflict and its aftermath so you wouldn't have to.

Of his work in Vietnam, photographing the effects of the war on civilians, he said to the BBC in 2005, "I wanted to show that the Vietnamese were people the Americans should be emulating rather than destroying." He was instrumental in influencing American opinion against the war.

But it wasn't all war. His photographs from Wales and England from, being frank, before Ms B was even born (this is somehow humbling, when you go to look again) are starkly revealing - of things Britain probably didn't want to know.

He says, "Any intelligent society would somehow give special privilege to critics. It's by criticising society that humanity has made progress... However, that's not the way the world works right now. What you have now is that you have the bandits in control, and they control the way people think." Follows a detailed explanation of how the bandits do this. All on film. Beautiful. Listen to him - listen to him on the visual history of the 20th century - and learn.

While he will be right in what he says about power and control, he also has a point about the power - and the responsibility - of the photographer. This man helped to make the very history that was being written while I was growing up. We say these images are "iconic," but that's just lazy. Think about what it means to be the person who made something so powerful and important. Jones Griffiths lies somewhere behind all of little Miss B's backyard ruminations on the nature of war, the world and her place in it as a little girl and future woman, whether there would still be a draft when she reached 18 and whether they would be drafting girls by then, what she would do if they were, America's place in the world, what it would be like to be a little Vietnamese child, etc. That's the power these images had.

I think he'd be happy to know about those ruminations. This is photography with a heart - with empathy, encouraging empathy in its viewers - but above all it's photography with a mind, in service of truth, against cant and self-serving conveniences. Jones Griffiths wants you to feel, but even more than that he then wants you to think.

Don't get me wrong: Ms B loves art for art's sake. Indeed I have argued its case many's the time; but the success of the case may depend on what is meant by "art" and what, at bottom, one thinks it is for (even when only in its own service). Jones Griffiths understood about art. He said, I forget where, something wonderful about the first time he ever saw a photograph by Cartier-Bresson (aka, of course, the Master). It was upside-down. He was in a class or something, and the teacher had deliberately reversed the picture so as to draw attention, not to the subject, but to the composition. Jones Griffiths said this had a permanent effect on how he looked at things, and this to me is a sign of the utter integrity of his vision. An eye that can't push itself past the obvious and really see what's there is no eye. And a heart and a mind without an eye cannot produce art - and photo-journalism, without being art, cannot succeed.

Some people might say 72 was a good age, but to lose this person now, at a time when we need his particular qualities so much, seems a tragedy. He was so young. Younger than we are.

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

the red earth of Tara: a competition















I couldn't get the image I wanted; indeed, any of the images I wanted. But while we're on the subject, here's a competition for you! There will be a fabulous [sic] prize for the first person who can tell me where the phrase "gone with the wind" comes from.

(Note: All members of the Spaniel family and its tenants and employees are ineligible for this competition.)

Thinking about it, I can offer a bonus if you guess correctly the image I wanted. Note that I will ideally want you to know what's happening in the scene and what the music is doing. (Spaniels may have a go at the bonus question.)

All answers should be emailed to me, at the email address in the sidebar. I will award the prize to the first correct answer, and the bonus to the first correct guess as to the image I was looking for.

In case you don't feel like helping me celebrate my brief "Red Earth of Tara" moment, here is a nice piece of Hollywood trivia from the obituary of Gone With the Wind producer David O. Selznick in the New York Times, June 23, 1965:

"Nothing in Hollywood is permanent," Mr. Selznick said in 1959 on a Hollywood set, as Tara, the mansion built for "Gone With The Wind," was being dismembered and shipped to Atlanta, Ga. "Once photographed, life here is ended. It is almost symbolic of Hollywood. Tara has no rooms inside..."

Click on the image below for more of this kind of thing.

the elegantly dressed middle brow












Not an easy subject to find a suitable illustration for, even if a girl knows what she means.*

It's something to do with a discussion about Julius Caesar, Hamlet, Brutus, the end of civilisation, Kierkegaard's "unconscious despair," and of course Hamlet (his was conscious); plus having been reading Geoffrey Hill in the bath last night. I could get very serious indeed, and talk about all that. I will, I will... But my origins in the middlebrow middle class make it hard for me to do anything other than undercut myself with bathos, jokes, wilful bringings of the argument back to quotidian concerns (e.g., I have to leave for work, coffee, weird hair day, etc).

One wishes one had more time for serious thought, for seriousness generally, but then when there's time there are meals and bottles of wine to be seen to... Then one wishes one had the depth of reflection. I argued a case the other day only to be shot down completely in flames, and then realised I had argued agains tmy real beliefs, and agreed with the person who shot me down! I mean, he was arguing my real position. And the position I had argued was the middle brow one of "eh, everything's fine, try this."

However, the rest of us does keep going on behind that pernicious, easily-satisfied middle brow, and our job I suppose is to give it enough space so that our despair (or joy, or indeed our understanding) is not completely unconscious... This is where poetry comes in. I was writing to a friend yesterday about the closeness of our dreams - as in, what we dream at night - to poems, at least in me that is often the case. She burbles inconprehensively. But no time to make it right, she really does have to go.

Here's your quote for the day, and I don't want you to read it as about politics!

When history sleeps, it speaks in dreams: on the
forehead of the sleeping people, the poem is a constellation of blood.
When history wakes, image becomes act, the poem happens:
poetry gets into action.

Octavio Paz

There was a picture of Salvadore Dali with something on his forehead but that only reminded me of a middle-brow anecdote, which I'll save for another time.

(Edited in: it strikes me that this is about the opposite of elegance, or the need to rise above elegance, or the limitations of mere elegance, or something like that. Ms B is back at work and has no time for these considerations, except to say that although her shoes have very thin heels they are very comfortable to walk in.)

*
(click on the picture: v interesting blog.)

Tuesday, 18 March 2008

a literary state of affairs

Going over the Baroque archives, it seems to me it's been a little while since I wrote very much about - you know - moi-mĂªme. Life in Baroque Mansions. The state of my innards. Les enfants, who are now much larger than their mother and also even more obnoxious. It seems to me that there was a picture, a moving picture if you like, a sort of word film, of our little mĂ©nage up here over the rooftops of N16, which has faded dramatically since the return to work, etc. All of a sudden I'm only writing about things like poetry, movies, culture - the things I said I was going to write about - and that can't be much fun for you...

To be honest, though, what with not being about to go blind (that I know of; I haven't written it off completely), not being about to have my guts burst open with pieces of rock flying out in all directions, not being dramatically rushed to Homerton Hospital to be force-fed unsuitable food and five different kinds of antibiotics, and even being over the three-month-long London Cold I suffered from for about - well, three months - the Baroque health has become a rather mediocre affair. I feel a bit tired, is all.

On the bright side, though, I've had the past two two days off in bed, queasy and dizzy (and Sleepy and Grumpy and Droopy and Snory and Peaky), which I wonder what that's about, but whatever it was it wasn't letting me stand up very much. I can't put all the blame on the cheesecake I ate last week - but it is true that I have been too readily reaching for the full-fat products, and my system just isn't coping with them the way it used to. But that's hardly exciting, is it. Let me refresh your attention around the fact that white wine makes an excellent olive oil substitute when cooking things like chicken and white fish.

However, I was severely let down even by my own gluttony, one night last week: just before bed I deliberately tempted fate by eating half an English muffin with toasted chèvre on it, and not one nightmare did I have. I could even say I slept like a lamb.

Anyway, les enfants are mainly residual chez ses père, so those kinds of amusing calamity are much rarer here than they used to be: the fights, the withering sarcasm, the loud music at 1am... The Baby Mummy, whose anti-domesticated antics were so rich and amusing last summer, has long since departed for Other Squats and her baby been scooped up by its grandmama (who is younger than me, but then you can technically be a grandma at 29 so that's not saying much). Briefly reminded of her lately when someone remarked about the acrylic paints on my pillowcases, I could only sigh a nostalgic sigh. Ah for those lost days! Even la petite Mlle B is big, glamorous and surly now, and I do count myself lucky she hasn't yet discovered the joys of paint.

In fact, readers, it has been borne in on me lately that what I am in is a Transitional Phase. No amount of sounding like a part of a sentence can make that any more fun. It means that the old life - upon which, let's face it, so many of the Baroque japes were founded - is now gone, gone with the wind, like the red earth of Tara, while the new one, upon which one hopes to base new japes, is not yet happening. But it will be a sort of middle-aged one, empty-nested and pre-menopausal no doubt, teaching one new kinds of humility and tolerance (stop it, there in the back!), with grown-up sorts of japes, like maybe boiler problems... unless one of my own kids decides to duplicate the Baby-mummy stunt, in which case we will be more like Rapunzel, with me as the wicked king. Will that be as entertaining to read about?

I only go on about this because people have told me they enjoyed reading about our little life, and I've noticed there's not so much of it to read about these days. Kids do grow. The Urban Warrior is less than a year younger than I was when I came to London and embarked on this whole affair, and he lives at his dad's, often with his girlfriend whom I haven't even given a name yet (I mean, she does have one, but it is a Real One, not a Baroque Mansions one), and I have no idea what their japes are, so there is scant material there. The Tall Blond Rock God has gone very quiet indeed; on a recent cinema trip he did tell me about an internet hoaxer called John Titor, who said he was a traveller from the year 2036 or something, but when I googled the fellow, not one of his predictions had come true - so that was a damp squib. Mlle B says she hates having her friends (aka "the girls", upon whom I did dote) sleep over here now, so I never see them any more either. It's all very boring, for which I apologise.

Of course there have been other things going on, as those of you who really know me will know, but not all of these are amusing. Some of them have been distinctly unamusing, such as the fallout from the death of the Baroque dad, various other bits, and the Family Fight to End All Family Fights, which happened on the Thursday before Christmas: that made the Mills-McCartney divorce look like a Von Trapp Family picnic, and has only just begun to settle down. And there's more! Life does go on, bless its little socks of poly-cotton, but it isn't all bloggable. Sometimes it is a terrible waste of one-liners, but that's just the way it is.

I've had a twitch in my right eye for the past week. It started as a searing pain as I arrived at work one morning, like there was a monster's eyelash caught in there, but nothing was ever found - perhaps it was Nessie's eyelash - and then it dwindled to this twitch. A sure sign that I'm tired. And boring.

I haven't even seen my best friend, the high-powered Ms Rational Self-Determinism, since well before Christmas, she has become so high-powered - indeed, horse-powered - she's bought a car, and a cottage in the country, and another dog, and I think a small snake, and all manner of things that Ms B can never, ever hope to keep up with, unless I stop writing this blog and start writing some sort of chick-lit for grandmothers.

We really are reduced to the literary life.

Which reminds me, I have about five projects on the go, and haven't touched them all weekend or over these two sick days, I've been so out of it. In fact, I've largely been asleep. I've just made some coffee - at this hour! - just to try and wake myself up for the evening, so I can go back to work tomorrow, so I may as well try and do a little something, n'est-ce pas? Maybe work on my Secret Essay, which has been percolating in the background.

And you know what, I did write a poem the other day that I like - I like it quite a bit, I think - so I'm feeling pretty good about that. I was working on it while I was having Chapter Twelve of the FFEAFFs on the phone with the Urban Warrior, which I know would not impress him, but rather pleased me. And there was a depressing one last month about a cuckoo clock, and one about some plastic horses. I can't remember the last time I sent any poems out, I should get on it.

But it is nearly spring - the sunsets are getting nice again over our balcony, and I had the door open the other day. And the book will be coming outm, and there will be some sort of party, and before that there will be other people's book and parties, and in short it's not as if there's nothing to do.

And after all that, as it happens, Mlle B is on her way over for the next two evenings, so there will be rice cooked and Famous Pork Chops reheated (the ones that made me feel so utterly sick yesterday, but they're fine, it was me - & I'm not going to eat) and laundry to do and the bath to fight over and the breadcrumbs to sweep up, unless I can avoid it. You see we're still a hub!

truly madly











Anthony Minghella will be, I suspect, as troubling in death as he has been for me in life: I always wanted to like him. He had such an engaging face, such a cheerful smile, and his films always looked so beautiful. The opening shot of The English Patient, over the dunes that look like skin and the curves of a body, has stayed with me all this time, whatever I thought of the rest of the movie (and don't get me started; it would be disrespectful in the extreme at a time like this; Ondaatje's novel is a great book). "Minghella" - it's fun to say, very pleasant in the mouth. And "Anthony Minghella" is a fine, tactile name; his parents must be proud of it (it is clear that they are proud as punch of their boy, poor things). The news of his death at age 54 has shocked us here in Baroque Mansions. I lost a friend aged not much less than that and you wouldn't wish it on anyone.

The ice cream industry on the Isle of Wight will also now be a sadder thing than it was, too; that has got to be a sad thing. (I've always seen Minghella's ice cream van origins as somehow intrinsic to the sugariness of his vision: the English Patient's starkly doomed trek across the desert - to say nothing of the tart-with-a-heart-of-gold's cappuccino run in Breaking and Entering - has always seemed to me to have a custard base, although it may seem base to mention it now. I think in fairness and kindness we can say that is just what the man was like, and lots of other people liked it too.)

Whatever you thought of Minghella's films, it is impossible to deny that the British film industry has lost an industrious champion. When Minghella was appointed Chairman of the BFI in 2003, he told the BBC, "We're not getting enough movies made here, our studios aren't busy enough, we don't have enough studios."

One can only agree with this. It would be nice to think that someone will be inspired to respond to this sad occasion by pouring money into new ventures, maybe by new writers, producers, cinematographers, directors, representing a broad sweep of contemporary outlooks, or even - against the grain of our modern society - inner visions. I know a couple of marvellous unproduced scripts, and I have a couple of very heavyweight biographies I'd love to use as props. Bergman's autobiography, maybe.

Some reports are saying Minghella has had a heart attack and others are giving no cause of death. I for one, lying in bed for the second day running with some kind of weird gyppy tummy, think we should all watch our smoke and fat intakes (hoping that will sort of cover the salt bit). Please, all you Type A men out there. Take it easy.

Now, some sober reflection.

Monday, 17 March 2008

the death of the reader of criticism



















"In McDonald’s deft polemic, The Death of the Critic" - writes John Mullan in the TLS - "it seems just right; for there has been something comical about the eagerness of academics to scorn the notion that some books are better than others. The analogy is characteristic of McDonald’s tone, a kind of humorous exasperation that runs through his book. 'The critic' has never had a good name, and McDonald admits that when he told people what his book was to be called, 'they immediately assumed I was writing a celebration' of the critic’s demise. But this is a polemic in favour of the critic as a 'knowledgeable arbiter'. In McDonald’s account, it is a reason for sharp regret that no one cares any more about 'the critic', that no one outside universities reads books of literary criticism."

Er - [sic].

Or is it that the critics - and their critics - are so blinded by the light emanating from their ivory towers that they can't even see us, their readers?

Anyway, Mullan continues: " Nowadays, there are more critical responses than ever, but critical authority has been devolved from the experts. McDonald surveys the rise of blogs and readers’ reviews, of television and newspaper polls and reading groups, under the heading “We Are All Critics Now”. He argues that the demise of critical expertise brings not a liberating democracy of taste, but conservatism and repetition."

I think this is a potentially fair point. But most critics have historically also been conservative and repetitive, because very few have been great. You can't create greatness; all you can do is let it happen, and hope you recognise it when it does.

There's a post about this on Alfred Corn's very interesting weblog which, if anything, points up indirectly the ways in which blogging has probably not changed the critical climate all that much; it has just created another arena.

Anyway, the bones of this post were drafted last night after I got in from reading, and I think I was a bit tired. I'll go back and reread that TLS piece. Not sure what to do if this post subseqwuently makes no sense, because I'm rather fond of my picture-searching effort.

"it's unsustainable..."



















In continuation of my "it's all going to pot" theme of recent weeks (in tandem with my ongoing "we're in the dawn of a New Renaissance" theme of recent months), here is a bagatelle from Clive James, on the subject of our collusion in the destruction of what should not be destroyed.

He's specifically writing about a recent fracas involving an aide of Ken Livingstone (winningly known as "Ken Aide") who apparently had the nerve to write some saucy emails to a girl (I know! Go figure!) and got rumbled by the ever-bloodhound-nosed Andrew Gilligan. Well, some people are saying that if you want to be on the safe side these days you'd be better off sending a letter. But, as Clive points out, they're closing post offices even faster than they can lose letters! So are we to do?

"GK Chesterton used to argue," writes James, "that the best reason for moving to the city was that in a village everybody knows your business, so you couldn't lead a private life.

"He'd find it hard to say the same now. You can be in the biggest city in the world, and every phone you pick up, and every computer you sit down at, is a direct pipeline to universal publicity for any thought you dare to express.

"Plato would have been envious. He devised a legal body called the Nocturnal Council, but if its members suspected you of impiety they only wanted to discuss it with you for a few years. And Plato never dreamed that his hideous Republic could be established except by coercion.

"We seem to be volunteering for ours."

(In a sub-plot, as it were, the article also makes great play of the ways in which we are abusing the English language these days, as in the creeping of the language of business into every sphere of public life - so that we forget, strangely, the values that used to form the basis of public life. It is, strangely, a form of totalitarianism. As Nat King Cole might have sung: "It's unsustainable...")

James also says, with a beautiful commonsensicality rarely found these days:

"Pinching private phone calls and e-mails ought to be a crime, but somehow it isn't. And it probably won't be. There are too many laws as it is; too many of the new laws are useless; and a law against printing anything you can find would probably be seen as an infringement of free speech, even though the unrestricted theft of private messages amounts to an infringement of free speech anyway."

The key here seems to be the last half-sentence: when's the last time a point like that got made by someone in government? To be honest, I can connect this easily to CCTV cameras, ID cards, SATS tests, Google, the information you get in your website stats, mobile phone technology (soon to follow us down into the Tube), to name but a few things. And all at a time when people see nothing ironic in a TV programme being based explicitly on total lack of privacy and even brazenly titled "Big Brother"! (A friend of a friend recently said, "I feel like Winston Smith...")

Ta to Francis Sedgemore for the link.

Sunday, 16 March 2008

Evans to Betsey

As I wrote the other day, I'm taking part in an evening of poetry tonight, in which hordes of poets and their poetry audience are taking over the Betsey Trotwood pub in Farringdon. The event is organised by Roddy Lumsden; featured readers are him, John Stammers and US poet Dave Lucas, with Amy Key and Ahren Warner. (Not sure what that "with" means; guess we'll find out!)

What Roddy is kindly billing as "quality" floorspots will fill the gaps, from Inua Ellams, Tamsin Kendrick, Simon Barraclough, Yours Truly, and more...

The main bar is open 6.30-11, just for the event. Readings will be from 7.15pm sharp - 10pm, with plenty of breaks for chat and drinks. I'll be reading not much, as you can see, but it will be something from the book and something newer than that. And I've had my hair done!

When: TODAY!
Where: the Betsey Trotwood
56 Farringdon Road

arcana, canis and the arse

By the way, lest we think the debate over the corrupting democratisation of the blogosphere and its hordes of uneducated oik denizens has gone away, here's a fun snippet:

"Don Paterson 'fucking hates blogs' - in case you were interested..."

Now, why is that? (It strikes me that George Szirtes, for example, doesn't.)

I bet Andy Croft has an idea...

Sorry. I've given you homework. Both poets' essays are really well worth reading, though, and Croft in the New Statesman will raise a laugh. He did in me, anyway. Just what you need on a rainy Sunday.

Saturday, 15 March 2008

you mean the book had a sad ending?!?!?

Now they tell me.

But here's a book review to warm the cockles of your heart. The headline caught my eye on My Yahoo: "Not Another Captain Corelli's Mandolin' - I thought, how clever! Does it mean, "this is not another Captain Corelli's Mandolin?" Or, "Oh my God! Not another goddamn Captain Corelli's Mandolin!" I had to find out.

Of course, being the almost purely prejudice-driven creature that I am, I've spent years inveighing against the good Captain and his stringed instrument, to say nothing of his sentiment-infused relationship with Penelope Cruz, purely on the basis of Nicolas Cage's bad Italian accent, the novel's sales figures, bad prose, plucky villagers, and a certain grim predictability... though John Hurt was a boon, I have to say, and so tragic - and of course I liked the idea of the opera company - oh, but where were we.

So, this headline! It turns out to mean - but no - you can read it for yourself. Meanwhile, a picture of Louis de Bernières playing a mandolin. Now there's edifying.

ministers of the inferior interior













Bryan Appleyard can't get too worked up about MPs' expenses. He says their pay is poor, and of course I can see what he means. The fact that it's nearly double (say) mine is meaningless in the wider scheme of things, and the fact that it's more than three times the national average means - well, what does it mean? How many times over the average must one earn for it to seem like a good salary? Probably about ten. I know if I were on £62K I'd probably only be complaining that I was broke.

But Bryan hits the nail on the head with his response to the Second Homes Scandal, with an observation that did hover ghostily over the margins of my own imagination, but failed to materialise into the following:

..."one stares at the
list of second home allowances with sickly fascination. The sideboard and the rugs, the food mixer and the coffee maker, the nest of tables. It is simply outrageous they haven't included a hostess trolley and hardboard panelling to conceal any remaining period features. For this is a home circa 1962 when Barry Bucknell and Fanny Craddock were on TV, prawn cocktail and goulash were on the menu, people set fire to their liqueurs and Ikea was just a distant dream. Happy days."

He's so right.

And now maybe we'll drop it, shall we... I have my readers to think of, after all.

Friday, 14 March 2008

Sunday at the Betsey














I did a Google image search on "Lumsden & Stammers." This is not them.


A one-off poetry event featuring John Stammers, Roddy Lumsden and US poet Dave Lucas, with Amy Key and Ahren Warner and quality floorspots from Katy Evans-Bush, Inua Ellams, Tamsin Kendrick and Simon Barraclough and more.

The main bar is open 6.30-11 just for the event - readings will be from 7.15pm sharp - 10pm, with plenty of breaks for chat and drinks.

The pub is opening just for this event, so it should be a blast! (I mean, not really. You know what I mean. I'm so limited by my lingo... I mean it will be better than when you have to push past hordes of drunken City types.) Come along if you can. Yay!

This Sunday, 16 March
at the Betsey Trotwood pub
56 Farringdon Road

Cardiff in the rain















Right now the Baroque nerves are about as jangled as they can be, and no wonder! Here's one I prepared earlier (you'll see...):

The train station in Cardiff is rather thrilling as you roll up to it in a minicab, in the rain, the day before the big rugby match with the town full of drunken Frenchmen wrapped in creased Tricolours – bearing the legend above its massive portals, THE GREAT WESTERN, it reminds the receipt-seeking, minicab-paying, mobile-phone-answering person of the romance that used to attach to this whole process of getting from one city to another.

Ms Baroque has today spent several hours in the capital city of the land of her fathers, and of course this exciting station is one of the bits her grandfather – and even her great-grandfather - would still recognise, at least until they got onto the platform. At that point they might lose the point, especially if they decided they wanted a last-minute coffee.

Fortunately that didn’t happen to me. I got my coffee earlier, at a place called Shot in the Dark.

We weren’t shot.

And this, dear readers, sums up the excitement of travelling to Cardiff! I used to go there a lot, staying with a glamorous BBC-working cousin, and I loved it: the castle, the old buildings, the feeling of not being in England, the people speaking to me in Welsh (see, in London everyone thinks I’m Jewish; in Wales they talk to me in Welsh). It’s what my children’s non-Baroque grandmother would have called a damned shame: there’s the whole clan, sitting in America yearning to go to Wales, the trip of a lifetime, and there’s me in the rain trying to get home in time for dinner while the ghost of my grandfather runs alongside my cab, going, “Stop! Wait! Maybe I drank in there! And that place, it could look a bit familiar…” In the end, my colleague and I are quite happy to get a train half an hour earlier than the one we’d thought we’d get, although he’s also partly annoyed because it means he’ll be in the pub before his friends.

And the romance? It was all in the lettering, just as it is on the (frankly thrilling, I think) Welsh National Opera building (which I’ve never been inside, alas). It certainly isn’t in the way my knees feel as I type this, or my poor shoulder hunched over a 12-inch-wide fold-out tray on an overcrowded commuter train... (Editing in: I had pretty much had it by Reading. That was two hours ago. I won't even talk about the conversations I was trapped in the middle of on the 73 bus; I got off and walked, in the end.) And Grandfather feels a little forlorn.


Thursday, 13 March 2008

newsflash: MPs "made to feel as if they're crooks", in which Ms B resorts to the use of capitals
















I don't mind telling you, my trusted readers, that my TV cost £350: I wanted a flat screen - it's a smallish room - but not by some make I'd never heard of. I bought the cheapest Philips flatscreen I could find. My previous set, which lasted years, till the picture turned green, was an ex-rental set from Radio Rentals. My stereo arrangements are ad hoc and involve the computer...

My kitchen is rented.

My wardrobe cost about £150 from the Place That Must Not Be Mentioned, and I had to put it together myself. My desk came from a junk shop.

Why do I ever even watch the news?? For I now know some of the contents of the House of Parliament's famous "John Lewis list" - the list of prices that are the most an MP can claim for his (or her) "essential expenses," i.e. those pesky costs associated with having to have a place in London and another in the country - which, by the way, you can claim on expenses for the mortgage or rent payments for. John Lewis may be "Never Knowingly Undersold;" but nonetheless it is a jolly expensive shop. Anything you buy in there you can easily get something just as good as for half the price elsewhere. But nonetheless, MPs can claim: £700 for a wardrobe; £750 for a TV; £10,000 for a new kitchen. Watch the papers tomorrow for new details of what you are buying for your MP. (Edited in: here it is.)

We in Baroque Mansions are (to put it mildly) DISMAYED to find that, while one has been scrimping on one's own expenses - the VCR doesn't work because I'm too thick to understand what cable to get for it, and anyway it's about 15 years old, and there is no DVD player; the old G4 still has no working hard drive, British Gas are chasing me for £98, the rented carpets are fraying, the living room ceiling light has no lampshade, my nicest lamp needs a new fuse (I think) and my other pineapple one needs rewiring completely; it took me three goes to fix the bloody Ikea bed to stay up with the slats all relatively stationary, I'm perishing for a new duvet cover, every pair of shoes I own needs re-heeling, my best tights just bit the dust, I have no curtain in my bedroom, and the front has come off one of the kitchen units - as I say, while all this is going on, I HAVE BEEN PAYING for all these MPs to have the flipping best of everything! In their second homes! AND their basic salary is nearly £62,000!! Fucking hell. If I got paid anything LIKE £62,000 I think I'd be able to buy my own sodding furniture. God damn it.

Oh, and then there's the small matter of having not paid into my work pension all those years because I needed the money, annoyingly, to live on. And before that, all the stay-at-home 3-babies-in-4-years years when it wasn't legal for the Baroque name to be put on the then-Mr Baroque's pension fund, because I wasn't (sic) "working."

I know. It's not exactly news... Except that at the moment it is, and one doesn't really like having one's nose rubbed in it.

And now they're worried about being misunderstood? Poor lambs.

no time to post...


















the elegantly dressed, thinking of Dr Johnson

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

the elegantly dressed thinking of Dr Johnson


















Patrick Kurp, at Anecdotal Evidence, writes about literary biography and the New Criticism (as was):

"From Samuel Johnson – his works and life – I have learned much about how to be a man and a writer, how to live with unhappiness and adversity, how to dwell in vanity while striving, without hope, for humility."

He links to Theodore Dalrymple in the City Journal, who explains that Johnson's greatness lies in just this paradox, which is the source of his profundity as a human being:

"Johnson is a good but flawed man, always trying to be, but not always succeeding in being, a better one: he is proud, he is humble; he is weak, he is strong; he is prejudiced, he is generous-minded; he is tenderhearted, he is bad-tempered; he is foolish, he is wise; he is sure of himself, he is modest; he is idle, he is hardworking; he is opinionated, he is consumed by doubt; he is spiritual, he is carnal; he is hopeful, he is despairing; he is skeptical, he is credulous; he is melancholy, he is lighthearted; he is deferential, he is aware that he has no superior in the world; he is clumsy of body, he is elegant of mind and diction; he is a failure, he is triumphant. We never expect to meet anyone who, to such a degree, encompasses in his being all human vulnerability and human resilience."

Look how nice that paragraph looks, the words laid out! All the "is"es. Lovely.

I know that "elegantly dressed" is a bit of an overstatement in the Doctor's case... and he's not exactly topical. But he's timeless.