science! do you get it?
Some of my more loyal, long-time readers may remember my apocryphal never-finished Life on Mars post, in which I was going to analyse the time travel elements of the much-loved TV series (much-loved in Baroque Mansions, that is) alongside the new Doctor Who (which I would have had to watch, in order to write about it, admittedly). But it was too daunting, I cared about the subject too much, and I had to make do with feeding you lot the rest of the dog's dinner from the night before instead - that is, I served up a birthday hash of all my apocryphal drafts.
And now it may be too late! (Mind you, John Simms was barely out of his plainclothes outfit circa 1973 before he suddenly pops up on Doctor Who playing the Master, of all people! I tuned out. Too confusing.)
But listen, a lifetime of figuring out the rules and then I read this:
"The Earth is revolving at 900mp/h, and orbiting the sun at 90 miles per second. The sun, and hence the Earth orbiting it, is moving in accordance with the gravitational pull of the rest of the galaxy, which in turn is moving through space in accordance with the pull of other galaxies. Thus, if I travelled back in time even a few seconds, I’d be hundreds of miles into outer space. Time travel might be possible, but it certainly wouldn’t be advisable."
Do you get it? I don't. And I bet DCI Sam Tyler wouldn't.
Check out the rest of the Political Umpire's post for more in-depth reportage.
10 comments:
blushing, lots.
P-Ump
In field reporting for 2029 Today.
Bless you Baroqueney
P-Ump, as Paxo might say: "hmmm... Yee-es... ..." Now, where IS the Periodic One? Do we know?
Anyway, enough blessings. Hope you're well.
PS - Give me a good write-up - I'll be needing my career to take off by about then.
I guess what he means (though I am no Brainiac) is that there is no reason why time travel should be automatically connected to time-in-space travel, and if it isn't, then you're fucked.
Dr. Doh
But Mark, what about the Space-time continuum? Or was a whole generation sold down the river by Tom Baker?
But that comment assumes that there is some kind of absolute galactic reference point against which the earth is moving to which your time machine would refer to. But as we know from relativity, there is no such reference point. As far as your time machine is concerned, whatever point it leaves from is the center of the universe, and so stays perfectly still, while everything else revolves around it. The first episode of the new series of Doctor Who even obliquely references this:
"It's like when you're a kid, the first time they tell you that the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it -- the turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, the entire planet is hurtling around the Sun at sixty-seven thousand miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me. Clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go...that's who I am."
Dr Doh has it - if you don't travel through space as well as time, you are in deep trouble. Or deep space, at least. But maybe you do - which was the point about the Time and Relative Dimensions in Space machine, which, of course, David Tennant possesses, so all is not lost.
Unfortunately Council Directive (EC) 989/28 allowed only ten poems a year (this was an extension of the working time directive) and thus Ms Baroque, having knocked out fifteen in 2028, has to sit the first half of the year out. But I'm reliably informed your excess output sells well on the black market.
BTW no idea what happened to the Periodical one, he had a habit before of disappearing and reappearing, so one never knows. There is some cricket on at the moment, and you'd hope he'd come out of his shell for that, but no sign yet.
P-Ump, many thanks for the update on my future, it's sounding pretty good. I always wanted to be samizdat.
As for the science part, I've decided this is what we have tradesmen for! When I want to time travel, I will simply find someone who understands it and pay them to set it up for me. I'll need some kind of communication network for when I get lost in outer space (will it be outer space MY time, or outer space the OTHER time?), but any reputable tradesperson will supply that.
Many thanks O superior one
Not at all, Ms B, and I get sooo embarrassed (in a nice way) with kind remarks from a blogospheric legend such as yourself.
It's kind of how the world works. Just the other day the guy fixing my leaking kitchen pipe asked where he could get some good poetry, and I gave him your details. I think that was the start of the fortune that you had amassed by 2017, but were wise enough to rid yourself of in a riotously hedonistic trip with three toyboys in 2022. Hence the black market poetry in the present.
Thanks for the coffee at Baroque Mansions in 2026, though, I never got around to sending a thank-you note and have been feeling bad about it ever before and ever since. I remember the awkward glances at first - after electronic communications over the decades forward and back, it seemed almost surreal meeting in person. You were so generous not to be bitter about all the things we said in misunderstanding. Didn't stop me quivering a bit, especially during the silences. Far off in the distance, a dog barked. There was the sound of breaking glass somewhere in the street, too. The old neon sign for baroque mansions buzzed in its spluttering defiant manner. But the warmth of the Baroque spirit made the place seem more ornate than even during its 1920s heyday.
I like what you did/have done to the interior of the place too. Glad to hear the liver's recovered though, and I got home safe. You did ask one thing of me, that if I passed an off licence, I might have them send up a bottle of gin. A crate is on its way last year, I promise. Keep the martinis dry.
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