flowers - a dream

Okay, so yesterday I was resting my eyes on the sofa, and drifted off for a minute. Bizarrely, as it is when you're sleeping, the doorbell rang - aggressive and jangling. By the time I'd leapt the five yards to the entryphone it rang two more times, hard, & when I picked up the handset I could hear a loud buzzing, as of a neighbour buzzing whoever-it-was in. Classic, they rang three bells - right?

So I'm saying, "hello? hello?" and a sarcastic voice says: "did you hear me say 'parcel'?" I say, "No. I heard buzzing." He retorts (honestly, how this got to be an argument I have no idea), "parcel." I'm not liking the feel of it, so I say "I haven't ordered anything." He says, "listen, do you want it or not?" I say, "I said, haven't ordered anything. What is it?" He says, "It might be a box of flowers or something." I say, "What number is it for?" He says, "the one I pressed." This is a singularly dodgy response, so I say, "Well, I haven't ordered anything," whereupon he sneers, "suit yourself," and leaves.

Now, if one of my kids had handled that exchange in the same way, and the so-called delivery guy had sounded like that, I'd have been proud of them for not letting him in! However, you, as an omniscient reader, can see what's coming.

This morning I called work to say I wasn't coming in yet, and my manager says to me: "Did you get your flowers?"

I said to her, "there are no flowers in the urban jungle."