total kitsch

Okay honeys. It seems there is a huge untapped well of longing, relating to the thirst for knowledge of whether Sonya has indeed killed Pauline Fowler.

Put yourselves at ease. Yes, Sonya did hit Pauline; but she didn't mean to. She was goaded. Pauline's lines right before the blow were shocking even to a seasoned viewer (part of the terrible scriptwriting thing I mention below. The humble viewer asks nothing more - or less, indeed - than to be able to simply believe what is put before him of an evening). And Pauline was fine right afterwards: like the proverbial blow to the head that reverses amnesia, Sonya's slap totally cured her of all the bitter acrimony that had been poisoning her most recent storyline. AND, two weeks earlier, Pauline had herself smashed a plate over the hapless head of Joe, and I am waiting for that salient little morsel to come out at the trial. (There has to be a trial, so they can bring Joe back to the witness stand for a dramatic denouement; but, as with Jake, I fear they will not take advantage of the opportunity for fictive closure.)

I'm sad to say, however, that the whole impossible storyline of Sonya's arrest etc has only been brought to you by a powerful cocktail of appalling scriptwriting, acting and direction, and the tacit understanding of every single viewer of 'Enders that life in Albert Square is not as life anywhere else.

Shame. I much preferred Dennis & Sharon.

And in fact this is only fitting. Nostalgia is the quintessential Albert Square emotion. They've rather cleverly engineered it so that, however much a storyline may annoy us at the time, we pine for it afterwards. Now, that is like real life!

And no, no, a thousand times no: Dot had nothing to do with it! The thought.