the sha bi Olympics: or, how we can learn from others

It seems to me that Beijing has got a handle on the Olympics - maybe because theirs is closer, and they're beginning to panic - that London hasn't got yet. Thanks to languagehat, I'm thrilled to find this gem of fellow-feeling from the Chinese blogger Massage Milk, translated by Jeremy Goldkorn and published on the urban life and media website Danwei.

"Recently, some media have been worrying about jing ma [Beijing style swearing and the constant sound of profanities you hear if you walk around Beijing], saying that if spectators at the Olympic Games constantly hear Beijingers cursing, it will be very embarrasing. Therefore, there are people calling for an elimination to Beijing swearing before 2008. 


...If you take Beijing swearing as an example, you actually only need two characters to explain it: stupid cunt (sha bi*). Don't pay attention to the fact that these two characters may seem a little vulgar, because they actually conceal several generations of Beijingers' wisdom. 



...Sha bi and wo cao can both mean very different things according to the tone in which they are pronounced. Because of the frequency of their use, these words are often used as modal particles, gradually merging into Chinese grammar like de and di. If they suddenly disappeared, the language would not hang together. 



...If you think that Beijingers are not civilized, then don't hold the Olympic Games in Beijing! Beijing has always been a country bumpkin city, as I have said many times before. The city has not yet progressed to a state of refinement. If you want foreigners to understand Beijing and understand China, then you should let them know a Beijing that has not been painted like the grass that sometimes gets sprayed with green dye, they should see the city in its real colors. Whatever is bad about it, it is the real Beijing. 



There are many, many uncivilized things in Beijing. If a city is full of sha bi things, why the hell do you want to stop people calling out sha bi? The people have sha bi rights!"

If one day this city solves all of its sha bi problems, then perhaps you won't hear Beijing swearing. 

Think about it: with such sha bi looking Olympic mascots, why the hell can't we scream out sha bi when we attend Olympic events?

These thoughts will become even more resonant if, with 2012 in mind, you stop to consider what walking down the street in East London is actually like. Imagine two old codgers (this is a true story, re-enacted every day) in, say, Poplar or Bethnal Green. They approach one another on the pavement - one carrying a Sporting Life, one a bag of jellied eels. Their cries of greeting are joyous.

"You old cunt! How the fuck are ya?"

"Fucking smashing you fucking cunt!"

Beaming from ear to ear, they continue along their paths, only turning now and then to wave their bags at each other.

It occurs to me in light of Massage Milk's post - & do read the full translation on Danwei - that there are many colourful elements of true London culture that we should be showing off to the sha bi Olympic visitors...

* This is apparently pronounced with a long "i". It even has its own Wikipedia page, but unless you understand Chinese it won't be much use to you.